As a parent, you want the absolute best for your child. After years of experience, you have the wisdom to know and appreciate the value of education. A parent understands that the level of education obtained determines the quality of life in the future. The question is, “How?”

No one can tell you how to raise your child or pretend to know what is best for them. Every student is different and every situation contains unique circumstances. This writing is only meant to provide various techniques and approaches that have worked for other parents and students.

Your Goals or Theirs?

Just because you want your son or daughter to become a doctor or lawyer, does not mean they share your dreams. In fact, most students don’t know what they want to do, and are quick to reject any plans – especially from their parents. This creates an atmosphere of tension, deception, and provocation.

You as a parent should present all of your opinions and suggestions as just that – suggestions, to be thought over and considered, not instantaneously accepted. Moreover, it would be in your best interest (and your child’s) to create an environment where your son or daughter can openly talk to you about their opinions, interests, and dreams. Your paternal duty is then to support them, resulting in increased respect and trust in you and giving you an enhanced position of influence, to be used when needed.

It’s All About Alignment!

A parent knows the importance of studying, completing homework, getting good grades, and academic success. Most students are aware of these concepts, but have a very difficult time embracing them. This makes your job as a parent much more difficult. To you, studying versus playing video games, reading versus chatting on AIM, taking notes versus passing notes, and going to class versus skipping school is an obvious decision and constitutes common sense. Your child is not so enlightened.

The trick is to get your child to want to excel academically. Definitely not easy, yet doable. The key is to find the things your son or daughter is deeply interested in, then paint a clear picture of how doing well academically will help them get there. It’s not about what you want, it’s about what they want. If you’re interested in what they’re interested in, you can be sure they will be much more willing to listen and take your advice.

Reward or Punishment

Many parents use punishments like grounding, loss of privileges, allowance re-adjustments, etc. The more serious the transgression, the more serious and more extended the punishment. This cycle can continue throughout the teenage years with little success. Yet somehow, parents continue to believe that each additional punishment will help your child improve or not make the same mistakes, even with overwhelming evidence to the contrary. In fact, your son or daughter probably use their time off to think of new ways of covering their tracks, shifting responsibility and blame onto others as well as developing various strategies for totally avoiding any kind of responsibility.

The point here is that positive reinforcement works better than punishment. Making a big deal out of even the smallest achievements or improvements in your child’s development has a deeper and longer lasting effect than any imaginable punishment. If you cultivate the type of environment and relationship with your child in which any situation is open for discussion, the need for conventional punishments will recede. Open dialogue, understanding, and empathy are much stronger motivators than yelling, arguing, and grounding.

Start Early

Every parent who has helped a son or daughter with homework, projects, and studying, has been exposed to the difficulties of teaching. The fact that you can (and most likely do) yell, scream, hit, and threaten your child doesn’t make it easier for teaching to occur. In fact, it makes it harder. Not only does your child get completely disengaged, but you can’t help getting upset and frustrated over not being able to get through.

The younger the student, the harder they are to work with, yet the more important their development is to their academic future. During the elementary, middle, and even early high school years, it is critical that a strong and durable foundation in Math and English is built. All subsequent subjects and materials build on these basics – thus, the students who have mastered the basics and built a robust foundation excel and outperform those who did not.

Therefore, if possible, invest in your child’s academic success as early as possible by either bringing in a private tutor or working with them. This even applies to those students who get all A’s. The additional work, challenge, and knowledge gained from a demanding tutor will ensure your son or daughter’s performance in high school and beyond.

Hiring a tutor does not automatically guarantee that your child will start doing better in school or score above average on the SATs. It takes time, it takes commitment, it takes struggle, it takes practice, and it takes a lot of work. This concept is at the heart of the Excel Tutoring philosophy – our programs are designed so that each student is continuously challenged and tested. With our focus on homework, retention, logic, and strong foundations, it’s safe to say our program and style of tutoring isn’t for everyone. In fact we don’t want it to be; otherwise it wouldn’t be so effective.

“There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.”
–Beverly Sills